comparative graphs THE GRAPH SHOWS DATA ABOUT THE AVERAGE SATURDAY SALES OF TWO BAKARIES IN LONDON IN 2010 The bar graph compares Saturday sales of two London bakeries in 2010.…
Comparative graphs THE GRAPH SHOWS DATA ABOUT THE AVERAGE SATURDAY SALES OF TWO BAKARIES IN LONDON IN 2010 The bar graph compares Saturday sales of two London bakeries in 2010. The graph shows average sales of products sold in Lovely Loaves and bernie’s buns bakeries. Overall, it can be seen that Bernie’s Bums sales were slightly higher on average during the comprasion period. On the whole sweet items were the most popular in both bakeries, while salad and rolls were the least popular. In terms sales that bernie’s buns donuts was the best sellers with around 135 sales on Saturday. Cookies and cakes are also some of the most popular products in Bernie’s Buns with around 115 and 110 sales. Donuts are also the number-one through chase in Lovely Loaves with sales slightly about 120 on the Saturday. One of the interesting points is that the purchases of salad in Lovely Loaves are three times higher than in Bernie’s Buns. The least popular item in Lovely Loaves is toasted sandwich with about 25 sales throughout Saturday. give ielts score
To score this response using the IELTS writing assessment criteria, we will consider four key areas: Task Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
Task Achievement:
- The response provides an overall summary of the data, indicating the main trends and making comparisons between the two bakeries.
- It mentions specific sales figures and identifies which items were the best and least popular.
- However, there may be a lack of detailed analysis of all items.
- Score: 6
Coherence and Cohesion:
- The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing.
- The use of linking phrases could be improved to enhance the flow of ideas.
- There are some abrupt transitions that could be smoother.
- Score: 6
Lexical Resource:
- Vocabulary use is adequate for describing the data, but there is some repetition (e.g., “sales”) and occasional inaccuracies in terminology (“through chase” should be “through choice”).
- A wider range of vocabulary related to sales and comparisons could be employed.
- Score: 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
- There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., “the purchases of salad” could be more naturally phrased).
- Sentence structure is somewhat limited, lacking more complex sentences which could demonstrate higher proficiency.
- Score: 5
Overall IELTS Score: 6
To achieve a higher score, it is important to improve grammatical accuracy, expand lexical variety, and ensure that all data is thoroughly analyzed and compared. Additionally, smoother transitions between ideas would enhance coherence.
