14. Tom isnt quite happy in Denver because1) he feels a complete fool in the company of his co-workers.2) he dislikes the leisure time activities of his new colleagues.3) his new colleagues have quit inviting him to go hiking or camping.4) there are no men whom he would like to become his buddies. I like my house and my bed and my shower. I do not like camping. I guess that means Im weird. Men are supposed to like camping. When I was eight, my father took me on our first and last camping trip together. It was the worst weekend of my life. It was freezing cold. It rained. We went for a hike, and I got lost. My dad had tried to teach me how to use a compass. We walked for a mile while he talked about north, south, east and west. I was cold and bored, so I didnt listen very well. He left me with the compass and told me to find my way back. My dad says I wasnt lost for very long. It felt like a whole day. My company recently transferred me toDenver,Colorado. My new co-workers have invited me to go hiking or camping several times since I arrived. I keep making excuses, because I do not want to tell them the truth. My buddy fromTexasthinks I should go over it, because Im not eight anymore. Im afraid that if I go, I will make a complete fool of myself. If I dont go, they will quit asking. If they quit asking, I wont have any buddies to hang out with. Back home my buddies and I played golf every other Saturday. I miss golf. But here wilderness stuff is what people do for fun. I finally decided I would give it a try. They made plans to hike in theRockyMountainNational Parkthis weekend. After work, I found the nearest wilderness shop. The salesperson thought I had lost my mind, but boy he had a big smile on his face. I bought one of almost everything, just in case. I even bought a wilderness guide. I think I could survive onMount Everestwearing the coat he sold me. I went home and read all the manuals. I practiced setting up a tent in the backyard. I wore my new hiking boots around the house until I got a blister. After packing my car Friday morning, I could not see out the back of my Jeep Cherokee. Everything I bought was crammed inside. We decided to caravan toEstesParkand then hike up Beaver Meadow Trail. I wondered if we would get lost. But I just wanted to play it cool and follow along. After work, we went in the parking lot to discuss who would lead the caravan. As soon as they saw my Jeep, they started giving me a hard time. Are ya movin in, Tom? Movin in where? To the woods. They all laughed. Oh that. Just wanted to be prepared. They raised their eyebrows and gave me the OK sign. I felt like a complete idiot. You should have told us. We would have left everything we own at home. Very funny. Bunch of comedians. On the way toEstesPark, I tried to relax. I tried to think macho thoughts. And then it started to rain. I panicked. All I could think about was being eight years old, alone in the woods, cold and hungry. The guys didnt seem bothered by the rain. In fact, they seemed to enjoy it. We all put on our backpacks. Once again, I stood out. My backpack looked bright and spotless. I forgot to rub it in the dirt and stomp on it. The price tag was still hanging from the zipper. My backpack was the only one dripping with gadgets. They all stared at me. On the way up Beaver Meadow Trail, the rain started to pour. It was cold and harsh. I removed theMount Everestcoat from my waist and put it on. One of my gadgets was a small, sturdy umbrella. I pulled it off the hook, opened it, and held it in front of my face. The waterproof gloves I bought felt toasty warm. I looked around at my macho friends. They were checking out my backpack. I suddenly felt more confident. They looked miserable, and I almost felt sorry for them. When it started to hail, we moved off the trail. I removed my backpack. A rolled up tent was attached to the bottom with straps of Velcro. They didnt laugh this time. It took us 30 minutes, but we finally put the tent together. It was not big enough for five people. Somehow, we squeezed inside anyway. After several awkward moments, someone said So what else you got in that backpack, Tom? We spent the next hour joking and laughing and eating beef jerky. I told them all about my first camping experience. I also told them that I miss playing golf. They said they would give it a try sometime. I decided camping might not be so bad after all.