The woman at the fast-food restaurant got tears in her eyes because she was 1. insulted. 2. worried. 3. grateful to the author. 4. unhappy about her job. Time to get off the phone Last week, while I was trying to enjoy my manicure, I watched in horror as the two women across from me talked on their phones the entire time they were getting their nails done. They employed their head nods, eyebrow raises, and finger-pointing to instruct the manicurists on things like nail length and polish choices. I really couldnt believe it. Ive had my nails done by the same two women for ten years. I know their names, their childrens names, and many of their stories. They know my name, my childrens names, and many of my stories. When I finally made a comment about the women on their cell phones, they both quickly averted their eyes. Finally, in a whisper, the manicurist said, They dont know. Most of them dont think of us as people. On my way home, I stopped at Barnes Noble to pick up a magazine. The woman ahead of me in line bought two books, applied for a new reader card, and asked to get one book gift-wrapped without getting off her cell phone. She plowed through the entireexchangewithout making eye contact or directly speaking to the young woman working at the counter. She never acknowledged the presence of thehuman beingacross from her. After leaving Barnes Noble, I went to a drive-through fast food restaurant to buy a Diet Coke. Right as I pulled up to the window, my cell phone rang. I wasnt quite sure, but I thought it might be my sons school calling, so I answered it. It wasnt the schoolit was someone calling to confirm an appointment. In the short time it took me to say, Yes, Ill be at my appointment, the woman and I had finished our soda-for-money transaction. I apologized to her the second I got off the phone. I must have surprised her because she got huge tears in her eyes and said, Thank you so much. You have no idea how humiliating it is sometimes. They dont even see us. I dont know how it feels for her, but I do know how it feels to be an invisible member of the service industry. I worked my way through undergrad and some of graduate school by waiting tables and bartending. I worked in a very nice restaurant that was close to campus and a hot spot for wealthy college kids and their parents. When the customers were kind and respectful, it was OK, but one waiter as object moment could tear me apart. Unfortunately, I now see those moments happening all the time. I see adults who dont even look at their waiters when they speak to them. I see parents who let their young children talk down to store clerks. I see people rage and scream at receptionists, then treat the bossesbankers with the utmost respect. When we treat people as objects, we dehumanize them. We do something really terrible to their souls and to our own. Martin Buber, an Austrian-born philosopher, wrote about the differences between an I-it relationship and an I-you relationship. We create an I-it relationship when we treat people like objectspeople who are simply there to serve us or complete a task. I-you relationships are characterized by human connection and empathy. Im not suggesting that we engage in a deep, meaningful relationship with the man who works at the cleaners or the woman who works at the drive-through, but Im suggesting that we stop dehumanizing people and start looking them in the eye when we speak to them. If we dont have the energy or time to do that, we should stay at home.