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Задача Задача №3767810
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Аноним
4 дня назад · публичный вопрос
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Аноним

минимум на 250 слов

Ответ нейросети
4 дня назад

Short answer: People spend heavily on a youthful appearance mainly because of social-media comparison and beauty-industry advertising. I see this as a negative development overall: it creates financial pressure and anxiety, even though it can slightly boost confidence.

Model essay (about 290 words)

In contemporary society, unprecedented amounts of money are spent on cosmetics, skincare and cosmetic procedures in pursuit of a more youthful look. This phenomenon is primarily driven by social-media pressure and the advertising power of the beauty industry. In my view, although it can boost individual confidence, it is largely a negative development because it fosters unrealistic standards and financial strain.

The main reason for this trend is the influence of social media and celebrity culture. Platforms such as Instagram and TikTok present filtered, age-defying images as the norm, leading ordinary people to compare themselves with unrealistic ideals. Consequently, many individuals feel compelled to buy expensive anti-aging products or undergo procedures to avoid appearing older than their peers. Moreover, the beauty industry actively cultivates insecurity about ageing through advertising, promising that youth equals success and attractiveness. In a competitive job market, where appearance can affect hiring and promotion, this pressure intensifies, especially for women.

From my perspective, this development is predominantly negative. Firstly, it imposes a significant financial burden on people who may sacrifice essential expenses to keep up with beauty trends. Secondly, the obsession with youthful appearance can harm mental health, contributing to anxiety, low self-esteem and even body dysmorphic disorder. While some argue that looking after one’s appearance is a form of self-care and can enhance confidence, the pursuit often crosses into unhealthy territory. For example, excessive cosmetic surgery carries medical risks and can lead to dissatisfaction rather than fulfilment. A more balanced approach would emphasise health and self-acceptance over an impossible standard of perpetual youth.

In conclusion, spending on a youthful appearance is largely fuelled by social media and commercial advertising. Although minor benefits exist, I believe this is a negative trend because it creates financial pressure and psychological harm; society should promote realistic and healthy attitudes towards ageing.

Key steps / why this works

  1. Answer both parts of the question. The task asks why this happens and whether it is positive or negative. The essay has one body paragraph on causes and one on evaluation.
  2. State a clear position in the introduction (“largely a negative development”) and keep it consistent.
  3. Develop each idea with explanation and an example. For instance, the essay links social media to comparison, then to spending on products.
  4. Include a counterargument and refute it. It admits that self-care can boost confidence, but argues that the pursuit often becomes unhealthy.
  5. Use linking words (primarily, consequently, moreover, firstly, secondly, while, in conclusion) to make the argument easy to follow.
  6. Keep a formal academic tone. Avoid slang, contractions and personal anecdotes; use general examples instead.
  7. Check the result. This essay is over 250 words, addresses both questions, has a clear opinion throughout, and ends with a conclusion that summarises the main points without adding new ideas.

Checklist for a similar task: Did you paraphrase the question? Is your opinion clear in the introduction and conclusion? Does each body paragraph have one main idea plus support? Is the word count at least 250? Have you proofread for grammar and spelling?

Обсуждение

2 сообщения
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Аноним

На бенд 6

Нейросеть4 дня назад

Вот версия эссе под IELTS Writing Task 2, уровень Band 6 — проще лексика и конструкции, но оба вопроса раскрыты и позиция ясна. 265 слов.


Nowadays, a large number of people spend a lot of money on looking younger. They buy expensive creams, do sports, and sometimes have cosmetic operations. In my opinion, this trend is mostly negative, although it can help some people feel more confident.

There are several reasons for this. Firstly, social media has a strong influence. When people see famous bloggers and actors with perfect skin, they think they should look the same. Secondly, companies that sell beauty products often advertise anti-ageing products and tell people that young appearance means success. As a result, many people feel worried about their age and buy things they do not really need. In addition, in some jobs, especially in fashion and business, appearance is important, so workers try to look young in order to get a good position.

I believe this development is mainly negative. First, it can create financial problems. Some people spend too much money on beauty treatments and then have less money for education, family or health. Second, it can damage mental health. People may become unhappy with their natural appearance and feel stressed when they see their first wrinkles. Of course, it is good to take care of yourself, and a person who looks good may feel more confident. However, this should not become an obsession.

In conclusion, the desire to look young is caused by social media, advertising and job pressure. In my view, it is a negative trend because it makes people spend too much and worry too much about their appearance. People should take care of their health and accept natural ageing.


Почему это примерно Band 6

  • Task Response: оба вопроса раскрыты — причины есть, мнение дано и повторено в выводе.
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 4 абзаца, простые и понятные связки: Firstly, Secondly, As a result, In addition, However.
  • Lexical Resource: лексика достаточная, но не слишком сложная: cosmetic operations, anti-ageing products, financial problems, mental health.
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: есть и простые, и сложные предложения; ошибки не мешают пониманию.

Важно: Band 6 — это не «эссе с ошибками». Ошибки специально добавлять не нужно. Просто на 6.0–6.5 обычно меньше сложной лексики и аргументы раскрыты короче, чем на 7+.

Что улучшить до Band 7: добавить более точные слова (unrealistic beauty standards, psychological pressure, disposable income), дать конкретный пример и использовать больше разных сложных конструкций.